Now, normally plot bunnies are a good thing. One glimpse of a fluffy, white tail heralds an idea – for a picture, for a story, whatever – but today the plot bunnies were running wild through my tiny dorm room, creating havoc and just generally disrupting my thoughts, rather than helping them along.

“NO! Get…out…of…the…fridge! I do not want you turning into a death fic, especially one involving getting frozen to death or some such!”

The plot bunny ignores me, of course, and I curse as the fridge door swings closed on it’s fluffy tail.

“Damn. I hate writing death fics.”

Quickly, I open the door and pull the little plot bunny out. An idea springs unbidden into my head. Thankfully, for my piece of mind, it hadn’t turned into that death fic yet. Final Fantasy VII – Alternate Universe – Cloud goes to school as a girl. I shake my head and let the plot bunny go. It hops under my cluttered bed, temporarily seeking entertainment with the dust bunnies hiding there.

“No, no, no! I never even finished the game!”

My muse – who doesn’t do much more than eat the plot bunnies that annoy him – gives a hiss from the relative comfort of my bed. The little ebony snake’s voice enters my head, amused. ~Since when did that make a difference, hmm?~

Another plot bunny rubs up against my leg, squeaking for attention as it looks up at me with large, doleful eyes. A tiny crown sits on its head, and a gold collar surrounds its throat. Princes from two fairy tales are unhappy with their fiancées, Cinderella and Snow White, so they…

“Gaaaah! No! Another one!” I wince and shake my head. “Damn it, I’ll never be able to write all these stories!”

~You could if you weren’t so lazy, or so slow,~ my damnable muse points out.

“Oh, shut up.”

The snake grins and coils around itself. ~So jot the basic ideas down on the computer, save them, and come back to them later.~

I’m too distracted to notice. A plot bunny with a hook for one paw floats down onto my head, while at the same time another bunny with glowing red eyes and a visible red aura hops onto my should. The two ideas mix in my head. Teenage Peter Pan sees his girlfriend, Wendy, kissing and groping another guy. Then, to top it all off, a few bullies try to beat him up. He’s saved by a mysterious guy who calls himself Captain Hook, and who just happens to have psychic powers. Captain Hook requests a favor… I blink as the idea filters through my head. Okay, that was just plain weird! Where the heck did the Peter Pan and Captain Hook elements come in?!

~If you start writing stories like that about Peter Pan, I’m quiting,~ the snake warns, slithering forward a bit and hissing loudly. The bunnies quickly scamper off, and my muse goes back to his former position. ~Peter Pan and Captain Hook? Ick… Try to keep those plot bunnies from getting near you again.~

Another plot bunny, unfazed by my muse, jumps into my lap and happily settles down for a long nap. This particular plot bunny has a long, black coat which shines from some sort of oil and beautiful, sapphire-blue eyes. A girl is hearing strange sounds coming from her prospective-boyfriend’s dorm room. It almost sounds like him and his roommate are doing… But of course her soon-to-be boyfriend is just giving his roommate a massage…right? …Yeah, sure.

I sigh. This wasn’t a new plot bunny; in fact, it had been running around my dorm room for at least a year now. I pet the bunny, letting the idea transfer to me. “I know, I know – my Fiction class group gave some really good suggestions. I’ll get back to it eventually.”

My muse shook its head. ~Did you ever tell them how the story originally ended, with that line about Alan looking predatorily at Christian’s back?~

“Um…”

~Coward.~

I briefly stick my tongue out, then mutter, “So what else is knew?”

~So stick it back in there, and then edit the darn thing. Hop to it! …Or whatever it is that humans do.~

Rolling my eyes, I do as my muse suggests and bring back up the file on the story. The plot bunnies scamper off for a few minutes, sensing my new mood. “Yes Master.”

~You’re finally learning.~